A Leaner Christmas

I don't know about you, but the stores did not seem as packed at previous holiday seasons. I think we are learning what the holiday should be about. I also think the kids are learning they will live if the don't get the list of must-haves. Health, togetherness and peace are wonderful. If you have that, you truly are prosperous.

We had a good time decorating the Home Depot tree while listening to classic Christmas songs. This is become a family tradition for us. This year my ds 6 was able to play jingle bells on the piano. I would love for that to be added to the annual traditions. Fortunately, grandma spent the weekend and Christmas dinner was delicious. As we say farewell to the weekend, we are grateful for one another. We hope you are too!

What is going on with our children!

This weekend researchers at the CDC released a report stating that Autism rates jumped 57% in 4 years. One is 70 boys and 1 in 350 girls. Firstly, let's answer the question what is Autism:

Autism - A complex condition, autism is the most commonly diagnosed pervasive developmental disorder. Autism impairs a person’s ability to communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, to form relationships and to interact with others. It also typically results in a range of unusual and repetitive behaviors. A child with autism may initially appear to develop normally, but then withdraw and lose interest in others. Typically diagnosed by the time a child is age 3 or 4, autism can vary from mild to severe. Autism is frequently accompanied by mental retardation, but not always. In many cases, patients will show uneven levels of intelligence with highly developed talents in some areas.

Spotting the symptoms are critical, the earlier treatment is started, the better it is for the child. Here are symptoms to watch for;

Communication Symptoms:

-- Delay in, or total lack of, development of spoken language

-- Difficulty initiating conversation

-- Echolalia (repeating words or phrases instead of using normal language)

-- Doesn’t respond to name

-- Doesn’t use or respond to gestures and other nonverbal cues

Social Interaction Symptoms:

-- Doesn’t point to objects or show them to others

-- Doesn’t make eye contact at appropriate times

-- Doesn’t look at other people’s faces as much

-- Doesn’t respond to facial expressions or body language

-- Doesn’t smile back at others

-- Lack of peer relationships appropriate to age level

-- Less interest in other children

-- Not motivated by praise or physical affection

-- Doesn’t clearly demonstrate sympathy or empathy

Six key symptoms in infants and toddlers that parents should watch for:

Children don’t orient or respond to their names

They don’t look at faces or make eye contact as much

They don’t show objects to others or point at things

They smile at others less

They don’t try to imitate others as much

They show less interest in other children

While researchers search for the cause of the rise in Autism cases, some groups question the toxicity of our food, the mandatory immunization schedule and the age of mothers. Until its figured out, we must stay attentive and responsive to our little ones.

CNN.com video: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2009/12/18/cohen.cdc.autism.numbers.cnn?iref=videosearch

Mama, Check the fit

Years ago I attended a seminar on how to get your child into the right school.  Since we reside in the competitive New York City private school region, the seminar was well attended. Parents discussed SAT scores, student-teacher ratios, reputations, alumni notables and such.  Yes, we were there to make sure we positioned our toddlers in the right preschools and grade schools.

Our expert speakers focus was the following:  

• The child and school must be a good fit.  From preschool through college, this is the most important thing.  Do not place more importance on the school's "ranking" than your child's liking.  What good is it to have a child hate school and fail miserably at the "best grade school" in the city.
  

My friends and I have had our children in some of the premier schools within our reach and region.  But where have our children been successful, happy and enthusiastic -- not necessarily at the "best" school, but the RIGHT school. 

Remember this mom and dad, we want our children to be happy learners, curious and challenged.  Think of their learning style, proficiencies, and temperament.

Happy Back-to-School 

We are not animals

Thank you Pastor Novie Warner of Living Room International Children's Ministry

I had the pleasure of listening to a woman who loves and care for children speak to a small group of parents.  She admonished us to watch over, care for and teach our children.  She pointed out a significant difference between humans and some creatures in the animal kingdom.

Some creatures lay eggs and leave. Others give birth, spend a short time with their offspring and move on.  But human offspring need parents.  Think about that.  We were made to be taken care of, guided, managed and molded.  Not for a few weeks or months, but for decades.

 The talk was tight but right.  Don't be weary or selfish.  Do the work of parenting.

Now that's Reuse...teaching the 3 R's

I have been teaching my five year old the 3 R's - Recycle, Reduce, Reuse.  He is a very serious little boy and is becoming the "Green Police" in our household.  

Recently he finished drinking his beverage and headed for the kitchen to put his cup in the sink.  I heard him open the freezer drawer so I asked him, "what are you going in the freeze for?"  My Green thinking little boy said, "I am putting my ice cubes back, I'll use it later."  You gotta love him.

I encourage you to start your children on a road to green living or conservation.  Many of us who grew up with parents who were children during the Depression will recall some of the strategies.

Here is a cool site for kids, check it out:    http://www.energystar.gov/index.cfm?c=kids.kids_index

It's time to get fit....find your free programs

Moms and Dad

Be sure to check your local municipalities for free fitness programs for your kids.  Many cities have free programs located at local parks.  For example, New York City is offering golf, tennis, track & field, basketball, gardening and much more.

Get your kids moving.  It will be fun, healthy and they will sleep better -- which means so will we.

Free Educational Resources

The federal government is one of the organizations that continue to compile information, images, audio and video recording for general public use.  

Visit Free Federal Resources for Educational Excellence (http://www.free.ed.gov/).  You will find lesson plans, curriculums and supporting data to teach your child.  

Want to teach your child about the blues, botany or business, not a problem.  You will be linked to national archives that have thousands of images, presentations, activities and recordings.

Happy learning! 

Give Credit Where Credit is due...Happy Father's Day

Many keystrokes and much ink has been used to implore men to be good fathers.  Statistics notwithstanding, the vast majority of fathers are loving, caring, providing and sharing.  For all the fathers that are on their job and doing it fabulously, I say BRAVO!

Now get back to work.....lol

It's so simple

I typically use this blog to give you tools and information to educate and enrich your child.  This week my son flipped the script.  He schooled me.  

He and I talk about eating fruits and veggies daily.  He knows that what he eats will affect is body. We talk about his muscles getting stronger, his brain's thinking power and him growing into a tall man of great stature.  He is completely onboard being healthy, strong and smart.

He received a party bag recently and when he was about to eat a Now or Later candy he asked me if it was good for him.  I, of course, told him that candy in general is not good for him and that's why he is only allowed a small amount occasionally.  He then said something simple and profound, "I don't want it."

If only we all simply stopped eating things we know are not good for us.

 

Mama...did you know you are the most powerful group on Earth

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Children come to us as clay.  The resulting sculpture depends on what we mold and what we allow to affect the clay.  When they are adults, they choose their own way and are responsible and accountable for their actions.  But while we have them young, let's work the clay.  Ladies, please work to be exceptional.  

Mothers are powerful and motherhood is a huge job.  

Happy Mother's Day!

The "Mommy why"

Children's incessant questions are a source of smiles, giggles and sometimes frustration.  But some questions can be profound.   Like this one:  "Why do babies come to mommies and daddies so small?"

I automatically said, "because if you came to me big it would be too hard to teach you things like talking, walking, how to eat and much more."  I went on to demonstrate not knowing how to walk as a grown up.  He laughed and we moved on.

The answer lingered... 

There are things we need to teach children while they are small or it will be too difficult to teach them later.  Am I teaching him everything he needs to know?  

1. Walking and talking - check 
   
2. Manners and eating - check  
   
3. Dealing with rude kids - mostly a check  
   
4. Stranger danger - and unfinished check  
   
5. Loving and respecting yourself - a work in progress check  
   
6. Having a goal, making a planning and perservering - no check  
   
7. Having a budget, making choices and sticking to it (self control) - a work in progress check
   

Think about those intangible "need to knows" that don't come in a text book but that you must learn to get on in this life.  It is not too early to do some age appropriate life lessons.

Here are some books to check out:

• The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids (Paperback) by Dr. Jenn Berman
  
• Not Everyone Is Nice: Helping Children Learn Caution with Strangers (Let's Talk) by Frederick Alimonti, Ann Tedesco Ph.D., Erik DePrince, and Jessica Volinski
  
•  7 Secrets Of Highly Successful Kids: New Edition (Millennium Generation Series) (Millennium Generation Series) (Paperback) by Peter Kuitenbrouwer
  
•  Kids Finance 101: A Guide to Financial Success for Parents and their Children (Paperback) by Yvonne Brooks
  

Free workshops for children at Home Depot and Lowe's

Did you know that both Home Depot and Lowe's conduct free building workshops for kids ages 5-12. They provide smocks, building materials and instructor-led classes. 

Home Depot's Kids Workshop 

• Click the following link for details:  Home Depot's Kids Workshop  
  
• When:  First Saturday of each month
  
• Types of projects:  birdhouse, mail organizers, toolboxes
  
• Where: Every Home Depot

Lowe's Build & Grow 

• Click the following link for details:  Lowe's Build & Grow 
  
• When:  Two Saturdays of each month
  
• Types of projects:  planters, storage boxes, birdhouses
  
• Where: Every Lowe's
• Requires online registration

Have a Great time!

Watch Out!

We all know it --children mimic what they see. Any Hollywood or video game exec denying the impact of images with a straight face should get an Oscar. The "children's cartoons" on the "cartoon networks" should be closely screened before you let your child watch the program.  Children will, not might, will copy the interactions they see with other children.  

Violence or cursing is easy to identify, but watch out for the more subtle messages.

• How are the characters treating one another? With respect and kindness or teasing, envy and rivalry?
  
• How the adults are portrayed; are adults mocked, tricked and resented?
  

The American Academy of Pediatrics "recommends no television viewing for children younger than 2 years, and no more than 1 to 2 hours a day for older children."  Make the few programs they are allowed to watch worthy of their brilliant minds.

Here are my recommendations:

• WordWorld
  
• SuperWhy
  
• Little Bill
  
• Handy Manny
  
• Backyardigans
  
• Dora the Explorer
  
• Go, Diego Go
  
• Sesame Street (by popular demand)

Happy Earth Day! Proven Money Saving Tip

Check out our electric bill!

A sure-fire planet and money saving tip is to unplug your appliances when you are not using them. We have been conducting a test at our house. We unplugged the appliances in half the house. Our bill usage was cut down significantly. Our electric company raised prices last year, but even with the increase look at our savings.

So my friends, get to unplugging!

Moms and Dads don't forget the outlet covers - safety first...

Free stuff you can really use!

Here are some useful freebies;

Mother's day is May 10th, Kodak is giving away Mother's Day cards. It's call their "MOM-A-THON The Million-Card Giveaway". Go to: http://www.kodakgallery.com/fullpages/promo/free-photo-card.html

Create a website for your baby holding up to 100 photos. Go to: http://www.babysites.com/createsite.asp

Great organizing worksheets you can download for free. Go To: http://www.mommytrackd.com/downloads

Make it a great day!

The Blessing of Disappointment

We cannot and should not give our children everything they request. Children must hear the word no. If we fail as parents to allow our children to experience disappointment they will grow up to be spoiled. And when life, as it will assuredly do, denies them a desire, that person will not know how to cope. I want to give my son everything he requests. His requests are almost always doable and reasonable. But every now and then I say no because he needs to know he is not going to get everything he wants.

It happens very subtly, children train us from birth. When my son cried because he wanted something to eat, I gave him a bottle. When he cried pointing to the toy on the floor, I retrieved it for him. If he cried because I was bathing him, I went faster. He was training his mother well. But at a certain point the light bulb went off and I remembered life and the rest of the world would not be as accommodating.

Sure it would be easy to give it to him. Many of us adoring and tired parents take the easy way out. Who wants to hear the pleading, whining or begging. Don't take the easy way out -- we are creating monsters. As a former new hire trainer at a corporation I can tell you that too many of the twenty-ish employees acted like they were doing us a favor coming to work. When the requests from some of these new generation employees were made, they were shocked that managers dismissed them out of hand. Far too many felt privileged and entitled their first day on the job.

By teaching your child to deal with disappointments you are blessing them. They will practice patience, controlling their desires, obeying authority and consideration. Children may turn to violence, vengeance, drugs and suicide when the proper coping mechanism have not been developed. Parents don't take the easy way out -- you may be saving your child by disappointed them.

The best things in life are free.....response to the new economy

In life there are needs and there are wants. Food, clothing, and shelter are needs. Swimming classes, cell phones and DS’s are wants. In this new economy more and more of us are eliminating the wants from our household budgets. It’s OK, take a deep breath. The best things in life are free.

Yesterday my husband, son and I played imaginary instruments to a John Mayer song. Smiles were exchanged, funny “rock band” faces were imitated and laughter ensued. We simply enjoyed one another.

This past Christmas our 5 year old son was in charge of decorating the tree (why not, the only reason we still get one is for him). The three of us worked together to position it, install the lights and place the 6 bulbs that my son deemed appropriate. We then turned off the lights, played Nat King Cole’s Christmas album and held one another on the couch. Priceless…

I thank God for my country and want to see us succeed. But perhaps the lesson during this temporary economic downturn is to refocus ourselves for the REAL important things in life.

Spring has Sprung....now let's get moving

Alright moms and dads it is time to start having fun while getting fit.  In just a couple of months we will remove our coats and jackets for the more revealing t-shirts and shorts.  What we did in the winter will be revealed in the summer.  It is time to stretch, warm up, exercise and get fit.  

Getting Started

• See your doctor before starting any fitness program
  
• Exercise at least 3 days a week, walking 30 minutes a day is a great way to start
  
• Take a good multivitamin
  
• Eat just one more serving of fruits and veggies than you did last week
  
• Eliminate at least two servings sugary snacks and fast food meals
  
• Get a water bottle and keep it near your work space, it will improve your water intake.
  

Make Fitness a Family Affair

• Go for after dinner walks with the entire family
  
• Get those bikes out and ride the trails in a park
  
• Dust off those tennis rackets and show the kids how its done
  
• Dance around the house, enjoy yourself and enjoy your children
  

We need to make sure we are here to help our children navigate this increasingly complicated world, so please take care of yourself.  The added benefit -- we are teaching them how to have fun with their family.  I have a feeling our grandchildren would thank us.

All the best!

We need to laugh....

We have been pretty serious the last couple of weeks.  The current events and our daily responsibilities as excellent parents can weigh us down.  Let's take a moment to laugh.

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Sleeping

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks 
2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks 
3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room.

Are we neglecting our children?

This week some of us watched a talk show that depicted the condition of extremely neglected young children. Horrifying, disgusting, criminal and unbelievable are all words that capture how I felt watching this travesty. These innocent babies were left alone and given minimal food and water to survive. Human contact and normal rational care were absent. These victims were so poorly treated it has left them emotionally, physically, intellectually and socially retarded.

Although these were severe cases, I wondered how many of us neglect our children in small ways. How long do we leave them in front of the television so we can do ________ (fill in your blank). Are our conversations really one-sided commands or perhaps inquiries related to missing remote controls or completed homework? Do you speak with your child everyday, I mean speak with not talk to? Do you really listen? How much eye contact you have with your child? Do you regularly ask your child what happened today in their life and listen intently for the answer?

Mom are you paying attention to your children? Paying attention costs you something, Dad. You have to stop what you are doing. You have to delay your desire to Twitter, TIVO, talk on the phone or check your email. You, busy parent, have to stop cooking, cleaning, folding, searching and organizing. Pay attention!

We can do better...

Here are steps you can take to ensure you are caring for your whole child.

1. Make sure you have discussions that involve eye contact. Ask open-ended questions that initiate a discussion. Yes, I know your 4 year olds conversation about his space trip is illogical, but it means something to him. Your 2 year olds discussions are half gibberish but she is practicing -- let her.
   
2. Hug, hold and rock your child. Without the human touch some children have died. Touch is nourishment to all humans (not only babies). Try gently massaging your child, use oil or lotion.
   
3. Play with your child. Let them use their imagination to transport you to a different time and place. Play a board game, Candyland or Trouble. Play catch or go bowling.
4. Take your child to Well child checkups. A general timetable is:
   

• 2 days old
  
• 2 weeks old
  
• 1 month old
  
• 2 months old
  
• 4 months old
  
• 6 months old
  
• 9 months old
  
• 12 months old
  
• 15 months old
  
• 18 months old
  
• 2 years old, thereafter annually
  

Let's not simply keep the children alive, let's be excellent parents. There will be more tips to come, but this week let's at least do one of the activities mentioned above.

All the best,

The Sudden Death of a Mother

Last week the mother of one of my son's kindergarten classmates suddenly passed away.  This is the first time I have personally known a child to lose their mother at such a young age.  I wept - hard.  I wept for this precious little girl who doesn't realize what has happened.  There is nothing like the love of a good mother.  

I wept because of all the wonderful mothers I have seen and am seeing raise their little girls;  Luisita, Ms. Grace, Dee, Mrs. House, Tryan, Aunt Mary, Aunt O,  Aunt Vi, Mrs. J, Donna, Treva, Judy, Jenelle, Mrs, Jackson, Vicky, Mrs. McLean, Ms. Vera, Nara, Pearl, Darie, Marsha and Cheryl.  I want their brand of mothering for every child.  I weep hoping this little girl's god-mom or grandmother can step in and give her what only a mother can give.  I pray that someone with the heart of a mother would mother her.

At this time she doesn't comprehend that her mom is gone forever.  Sure, she been told and can tell you her mom is in heaven.  But she doesn't grasp the full impact of how her life has changed permanently.  What is permanent to a 5 year old.  In our culture we adults don't want to deal with death which translates into being ill-prepared when it happens.  If we are unprepared imagine our children.  

Here are a few tips gathered from experts and the American Pediatric Association:

• Teach children that death is part of life in an age-appropriate manner.  When autumn arrives use the falling leaves.  When the gold fish dies talk about the cycle of life.
  
• When informing a child of a passing be clear but gentle.  If possible, begin preparing the child when the loss is inevitable.
  
• Try not to attach a single person, place or thing to the death.  If the child attaches the doctor to a death, they will be afraid to go to the doctor.
  
• Consider visiting a grief counselor or religious leader. 
  
• When a death occurs don't hide all of your grief.  Express your grief and allow the child to express theirs.
  
• Let the child see adults coping with the loss, working through the pain.
  
• Take good care of the child and try to keep their daily life as normal as possible.  As we know children need love, safety and security.
  
• If anger is expressed, guide the child to a constructive and harmless manner in expressing it.   A pillow fight, punch a boxing bag, running, etc.  
  
• Engage in activities that keep the child moving through the grief process and lead to the acceptance of the loss.  
• Come to a place where the person's life can be honored and celebrated.  The memories will last forever.
  

I pray you will not need this list, but this is life.

All the best!

This is for you .... the kids

As I reflect on why I am blogging or even why our company, Fundamental Life Products, Inc. was formed, I realize it's all about the kids.  The kids in my life and the kids in my customers lives.  It's about the impact these children have had on the lives of us parents.  And boy, what a transformative process parenting has been for all of us.

Becoming a mother has been the hardest work I have ever done.  Mentally, physically and emotionally it is demanding and unrelenting.  And this comes from a woman who has had 3 jobs while pursuing an acting career in New York City.   It is also the joy of my life.  As parents often say, we wouldn't have it any other way.  We love our kids!

So, this blog will have a potpourri of information and resources to help us help them.  Every now and then will have jokes, because we need to laugh.

Let's get started.  

• http://www.spellingcity.com  -  Here is a site to help with those all important spelling tests.  Simply insert the spelling words on the home page, thereafter, your child can test themselves, learn the words or play a list of games.
  

• http://www.softschools.com - Contains printable worksheets for children in grades Pre-K thru middle school.  Math, Phonics, Language Arts and Science are all covered.  
  

May all that you read and any of our products you purchase make your life and the lives of your children better.  Enjoy life, it is a gift.