The best things in life are free.....response to the new economy

In life there are needs and there are wants. Food, clothing, and shelter are needs. Swimming classes, cell phones and DS’s are wants. In this new economy more and more of us are eliminating the wants from our household budgets. It’s OK, take a deep breath. The best things in life are free.

Yesterday my husband, son and I played imaginary instruments to a John Mayer song. Smiles were exchanged, funny “rock band” faces were imitated and laughter ensued. We simply enjoyed one another.

This past Christmas our 5 year old son was in charge of decorating the tree (why not, the only reason we still get one is for him). The three of us worked together to position it, install the lights and place the 6 bulbs that my son deemed appropriate. We then turned off the lights, played Nat King Cole’s Christmas album and held one another on the couch. Priceless…

I thank God for my country and want to see us succeed. But perhaps the lesson during this temporary economic downturn is to refocus ourselves for the REAL important things in life.

Spring has Sprung....now let's get moving

Alright moms and dads it is time to start having fun while getting fit.  In just a couple of months we will remove our coats and jackets for the more revealing t-shirts and shorts.  What we did in the winter will be revealed in the summer.  It is time to stretch, warm up, exercise and get fit.  

Getting Started

• See your doctor before starting any fitness program
  
• Exercise at least 3 days a week, walking 30 minutes a day is a great way to start
  
• Take a good multivitamin
  
• Eat just one more serving of fruits and veggies than you did last week
  
• Eliminate at least two servings sugary snacks and fast food meals
  
• Get a water bottle and keep it near your work space, it will improve your water intake.
  

Make Fitness a Family Affair

• Go for after dinner walks with the entire family
  
• Get those bikes out and ride the trails in a park
  
• Dust off those tennis rackets and show the kids how its done
  
• Dance around the house, enjoy yourself and enjoy your children
  

We need to make sure we are here to help our children navigate this increasingly complicated world, so please take care of yourself.  The added benefit -- we are teaching them how to have fun with their family.  I have a feeling our grandchildren would thank us.

All the best!

We need to laugh....

We have been pretty serious the last couple of weeks.  The current events and our daily responsibilities as excellent parents can weigh us down.  Let's take a moment to laugh.

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Sleeping

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks 
2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks 
3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room.

Are we neglecting our children?

This week some of us watched a talk show that depicted the condition of extremely neglected young children. Horrifying, disgusting, criminal and unbelievable are all words that capture how I felt watching this travesty. These innocent babies were left alone and given minimal food and water to survive. Human contact and normal rational care were absent. These victims were so poorly treated it has left them emotionally, physically, intellectually and socially retarded.

Although these were severe cases, I wondered how many of us neglect our children in small ways. How long do we leave them in front of the television so we can do ________ (fill in your blank). Are our conversations really one-sided commands or perhaps inquiries related to missing remote controls or completed homework? Do you speak with your child everyday, I mean speak with not talk to? Do you really listen? How much eye contact you have with your child? Do you regularly ask your child what happened today in their life and listen intently for the answer?

Mom are you paying attention to your children? Paying attention costs you something, Dad. You have to stop what you are doing. You have to delay your desire to Twitter, TIVO, talk on the phone or check your email. You, busy parent, have to stop cooking, cleaning, folding, searching and organizing. Pay attention!

We can do better...

Here are steps you can take to ensure you are caring for your whole child.

1. Make sure you have discussions that involve eye contact. Ask open-ended questions that initiate a discussion. Yes, I know your 4 year olds conversation about his space trip is illogical, but it means something to him. Your 2 year olds discussions are half gibberish but she is practicing -- let her.
   
2. Hug, hold and rock your child. Without the human touch some children have died. Touch is nourishment to all humans (not only babies). Try gently massaging your child, use oil or lotion.
   
3. Play with your child. Let them use their imagination to transport you to a different time and place. Play a board game, Candyland or Trouble. Play catch or go bowling.
4. Take your child to Well child checkups. A general timetable is:
   

• 2 days old
  
• 2 weeks old
  
• 1 month old
  
• 2 months old
  
• 4 months old
  
• 6 months old
  
• 9 months old
  
• 12 months old
  
• 15 months old
  
• 18 months old
  
• 2 years old, thereafter annually
  

Let's not simply keep the children alive, let's be excellent parents. There will be more tips to come, but this week let's at least do one of the activities mentioned above.

All the best,

The Sudden Death of a Mother

Last week the mother of one of my son's kindergarten classmates suddenly passed away.  This is the first time I have personally known a child to lose their mother at such a young age.  I wept - hard.  I wept for this precious little girl who doesn't realize what has happened.  There is nothing like the love of a good mother.  

I wept because of all the wonderful mothers I have seen and am seeing raise their little girls;  Luisita, Ms. Grace, Dee, Mrs. House, Tryan, Aunt Mary, Aunt O,  Aunt Vi, Mrs. J, Donna, Treva, Judy, Jenelle, Mrs, Jackson, Vicky, Mrs. McLean, Ms. Vera, Nara, Pearl, Darie, Marsha and Cheryl.  I want their brand of mothering for every child.  I weep hoping this little girl's god-mom or grandmother can step in and give her what only a mother can give.  I pray that someone with the heart of a mother would mother her.

At this time she doesn't comprehend that her mom is gone forever.  Sure, she been told and can tell you her mom is in heaven.  But she doesn't grasp the full impact of how her life has changed permanently.  What is permanent to a 5 year old.  In our culture we adults don't want to deal with death which translates into being ill-prepared when it happens.  If we are unprepared imagine our children.  

Here are a few tips gathered from experts and the American Pediatric Association:

• Teach children that death is part of life in an age-appropriate manner.  When autumn arrives use the falling leaves.  When the gold fish dies talk about the cycle of life.
  
• When informing a child of a passing be clear but gentle.  If possible, begin preparing the child when the loss is inevitable.
  
• Try not to attach a single person, place or thing to the death.  If the child attaches the doctor to a death, they will be afraid to go to the doctor.
  
• Consider visiting a grief counselor or religious leader. 
  
• When a death occurs don't hide all of your grief.  Express your grief and allow the child to express theirs.
  
• Let the child see adults coping with the loss, working through the pain.
  
• Take good care of the child and try to keep their daily life as normal as possible.  As we know children need love, safety and security.
  
• If anger is expressed, guide the child to a constructive and harmless manner in expressing it.   A pillow fight, punch a boxing bag, running, etc.  
  
• Engage in activities that keep the child moving through the grief process and lead to the acceptance of the loss.  
• Come to a place where the person's life can be honored and celebrated.  The memories will last forever.
  

I pray you will not need this list, but this is life.

All the best!